Hell in High Heels

You only see the beauty, never the pain

My survival kit — 2011/02/28

My survival kit

Three Lillies Blooming
Lillies of Hope

So when I get overwhelmed I try to remind myself that beside breathing I need to do some self-care techniques. Some of these include:

  • reminding myself it’ll be okay
  • thinking of advice i’d give someone else and then taking it for myself
  • listening to my favorite music
  • coloring in a coloring book
  • doodling
  • call a hotline
  • clean my house
  • breathe deeply, count to ten
  • notice all my surroundings
  • try not to fight my feelings, go with the flow
  • expect to have a reaction
  • give self-affirmations: “i know how to deal with this, i CAN deal with these feelings”
  • Drink tea
  • curl up in a blankie
  • watch a comforting movie
  • speak feelings out loud
  • visualize a calendar with the date
  • see a stop sign

Another one of my favorite things to do when I’m completely overwhelmed is called “Stop, Swap and console. These are three steps to take during a rough time. Even just thinking of them is a step in the right direction. Learning to care for yourself is a process and you won’t nail it the first time, but starting with 3 simple words you get there. ID what’s on the inside and take steps to better self care cuz YOU ARE what matters most.

  1. STOP what you’re doing. Calm your thoughts. Try to ID what you’re feeling: fear, anxiety, rage. Ground yourself in the now and say STOP in your mind and visualize a stop sign.
  2. SWAP things in your mind. Would you want a loved one to feel guilty in this situation, to act on that impulse, would you exercise compassion if your loved one was feeling that way? YOU deserve as much patience and compassion that you believe as loved-one deserves! You ARE a loved one to yourself…so you should treat yourself accordingly!
  3. CONSOLE yourself. Take care of you. Give yourself comfort. Journal if you want to. Call someone you trust and ask for help. Address your feelings. Communicate what you are feeling… REALLY feeling Validate yourself. Help yourself to cope in HEALTHY and productive ways.

Those are just some of my methods for surviving through the day. Maybe they’ll help someone out there.

I’ll leave today with this thought from Dale Carnegie:

‎One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon, instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.

Small Sips of Hope — 2011/02/24

Small Sips of Hope

There are just those days when it’s rainy and cloudy and you just want to roll over and pull the covers back over your head, or least that’s how i feel some days.  I call those days my DEFEAT days. But I still have to get up and go to work, or at least sit at my desk and bang out a paper or two. I’m a research assistant at Lehigh University, and this is what I do. I sip my coffee and I think back to the days when the sun was shining and I remember that no matter how I feel inside THE SUN WILL SHINE AGAIN. The bacteria in the lab still grow, this is what I love about science: you can either count on things to go your way or they will be all funked up and horribly wrong and you have to do EVERYTHING over again.


It seems appropriate to leave with these lyrics from Mumford and Sons:

And there will come a time, you’ll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair

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