Hell in High Heels

You only see the beauty, never the pain

Special — 2011/03/09


Dear you,

YOU’RE SPECIAL. In the entire world there is nobody like you. Since the beginning of time, there has never been another person like you. Nobody has your smile. Nobody has your eyes, your nose, you’re hair, your laugh. YOU ARE SPECIAL.

No one sees things just like you do. In all of time there has been absolutely no one who laughs like you, no one who cries like you. And what makes you laugh and cry will never provoke identical laughter or tears from anyone else, ever.

You are the only one on this earth with your set of natural abilities. There will always be someone who is better at one of the things you’re good at, but no one in the universe can reach the quality of your combination of talents ideas natural abilities and spiritual abilities.

Through all of eternity no one will ever look, talk walk, think or do exactly like you. YOU’RE SPECIAL. You’re rare. And, as in all rarity, there is great value. Because of your great rare value you need not attempt to imitate others. You should accept, CELEBRATE your differences. YOU”RE SPECIAL. Continue to realize it’s not an accident that you’re special. Continue to see that you are here for a very special purpose that no one else can do as well as you. Out of all the billions of applicants only one is qualified, only one has the best combination of what it takes which is you. Just as surely as every snowflake that falls has a perfect design and no two designs are the same, so is each human being. Go in search of your special purpose and seek to fulfill it while yowalk this earth.


Moving forward — 2011/03/05

Moving forward

I could regret my past. The people I left behind. But honestly I don’t though. I’ll sometimes give you a sideways glance and wonder if you think about me. Other than that, I’m doing really well, I’ve changed my priorities, and I’m doing so well with it all. I know what I want from life and they are things that you might have said were not possible. I know that and I’m moving on.

I know that I’m better for moving on and I know that I don’t have to wait up at night wondering if you’ll call. That gives me the freedom to live my life

I want everyone to experience this peace. The knowledge that they are their own source of everything they need. What people provide them is nothing compared to what they provide themselves.

That is the best thing about the experience I had when I was 17, and the resulting mistrust of people it placed in my heart. It taught me that only I can provide for myself and be the center of my emotional well-being. While I would never wish for someone to experience that trauma, I wish for everyone to reach the end of their reliance on others, so that they can rely fully on themselves to provide for their emotional needs.

Today I’ll leave you with this quote to sum up what I’ve talked about today.

“With forgiveness, your victim identity dissolves, and your true power emerges – the power of presence. Instead of blaming the darkness you bring in the light.“ Eckhart Tolle

Erase myself, let go of what I’ve done — 2011/03/04

Erase myself, let go of what I’ve done

So I’ve decided that I need to work harder to forget my past. Let go of what happened: All of it. If that means dunking myself under H2o for an extended period… so be it. But this crap popping up and ruining the best relationships in my life is completely unacceptable.Just because I was severely damaged when I was 17 does not mean that will happen again just because I am working among many people who have the potential to hurt me. Also I have many people in my life who love me with all of their hearts. So i need to just forget what happened. However, that needs to happen, I need to find that button and press it a few thousand times, because everyone needs a refresh button, wouldn’t you agree?

I think that possibly maybe I’m falling again. But I can’t risk it now. I’m too scared of being hurt and being screwed over by my emotions and men again. Literally and figuratively. The what-ifs have never weighed in as heavy as they do now. But that’s okay. I’ll just go with it, and trust my heart. Cuz it’ll keep beating and I’ll keep feeling the way I do about you now. I’m sorry for letting the crap ruin us, what we could be.


%d bloggers like this: