When it all became real

When I went to the youth gathering that night, I never expected that anything out of the ordinary would occur. Is there something that could alert a person that they would be hurt? The night was supposed to be average, I got a ride to the leader’s house, where there was a campfire, a large group of us gathered and had s’mores and we talked late into the night about random stuff relating to things going on in our lives. You never once gave any indication that I had anything to fear from you. Instead you just stayed in the background and inserted phrases at random.

I had known you for some time, you were a leader at this group, and I truly believed you could be trusted. When you offered a ride home, I hardly hesitated, and I wanted to believe that you wouldn’t hurt a friend. That’s what I was, a kid who trusted you, a friend. When you said you needed to stop at your house to let your dog out, I didn’t think twice, and when you offered me a drink, I believed you were being nice, and I was trying to fit in. I never thought you would hurt someone like me. I was a kid, someone who trusted you, you who was supposed to protect me. When I started to get groggy, I had no clue what was going on, and you told me what ot do, and I trusted you. You broke that trust, by ripping up what I was and replacing it with a new version of who you believed I should have been.

When I tried to tell people around me what happened, our mutual friends didn’t believe me because you were a leader. They suggested that I had blown the ordeal out of proportion, or gave me a wide birth after the incident and would rather hang out with you. Do you replay it in your head like I do mine. I can’t go a day without thinking about what happened. I moved out of the area after the trial, and you got let off. I figured maybe moving away would allow me to forget about the incident, make new friends, and move on with my life. It actually started to work too, and then I regressed for some weird reason.

I was seventeen years old and I believed you would

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