Dear me.
You’ve been through hell fire and brimstone, that much is true. Thing is, you feel like you can’t trust people, you can’t work through a full day without breaking down and going “insane” and needing to take medicine. What people (and by people I mean you) need to realize is that you need time to heal. If you can’t do this, you’ll never get to your dreams.
You need to make an effort to
• practice mindfulness
• find good quotes and write them down
• read a good book
• breathe
• do a random act of kindness
• drink caffeine
• laugh
• look at adorable pictures of cute animals

Be specific in any goal that you set. This will enable you to feel accomplished in your life and also allow you to attain your goals easier. When you see a chance to act on your goals, go for it, because time is short. Go ahead and make plans, and stick to them. Focus on the healing, not on the fact that you are still broken. It is the only way things will get better. Use deep breathing as a common solution to the common problems in life. Fix alls if you will. Don’t make reaching success harder than it needs to be, you know your limits. Respect them and walk away from a situation if it becomes too overwhelming for you.