I want to learn how to keep my past in the ground. I want to bury bad memories like feet in the sand. I want to make the kids stop crying. But the first step is to make my own pain stop. I wish I could be more decisive. People see me as this strong person and I am just as screwed up as they are, and it is awesome. I want someone to give me the answer as much as the next person wants the answers. I have no clue what to do with this situation, how to handle it. I’m lost in this raging sea, whether to go left or right, i dunno. I feel like it’s a lose-lose. But i can only take  step and hope for the best.

“I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It’s always darkest before the dawn”