Hell in High Heels

You only see the beauty, never the pain

Irrationality — 2012/01/12


Q: What are you irrational about?

A: People not showing up when they said they would. Even if you’re a few minutes late, I think it’s a problem.*Spiders. Why do they exist? Too many legs. They have super tiny mouths. Ridiculous. *Clothes. I just pile them everywhere. I don’t see a problem with the leaning pile a clean laundry. And don’t even bring my dressers into it. The rest of my house is reasonably clean. But leave my clothing habits out of it. *Food. I have self image issues coming out of my ass.

But that leads me to my next point. Irrationality is healthy. If we were purely rational about everything, all the time we would never find people who had those same irrational fears to be irrational with and therefore never make some of our closest friends. Those people who don’t mind the messes we make, or will talk to us about how they were thinking about the silly little lab principles the other day and it blew their minds. This is what friendship is about. Irrationality firmed together in the principle of rationality.


— 2012/01/08
The life that we are given should be treasured. No matter how people treat us, what the health conditions we have to deal with are, or how hard we have to work on a daily basis, we need to be happy with our lives. People should take pleasure in whatever gives them peace, and joy from day to day. This is what my method is for ignoring the voices that insist that I’m not good enough to run with my colleagues who are so far ahead of me.

The voices aren’t real. They got nothing. Once we realize that, we are better off. 

a letter to him — 2012/01/02

a letter to him

hey, I thought as the beginning of the new year i thought I’d let you know the pain hasn’t stopped. No one has forgotten your presence in our lives. The family still thinks of your love. We still wish you were here. We never told you how much you meant. Funny the way it works, huh? We never tell people how they affected our lives, then there is nothing left, and we suddenly want them there so much more. It hurts so badly, and all we want is more. More of them more time and we promise ourselves to do better with the rest.
But then others pull away. I don’t know what to do with the ones who are pulling away. Sometimes I think we were just staying together, in touch for your benefit. I think to myself that it is better that you can’t see how much disarray there is in ourlives now. What has happened in the past is indeed in the past, but there was that part of life that made it real. I think that part was your presence in our lives. You kept our family tied together.
Now we will fall to disarray.
Not that we blame you for leaving us.

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