Hell in High Heels

You only see the beauty, never the pain

"new is always better" — 2012/10/25

"new is always better"

Ending a friendship is kind of like ending a relationship, because that person was a part of your life. So ending that relationship is going ot suck no matter how you do it. You can be brave and choose the face to face break up routine, risk losing a limb, you can take the step down approach and leave a message in their voicemail like “hey it was great while it lasted but your nose hair is really starting to freak me out and I’ve got to call this off” OR you can write them a letter/email and explain life. Tell them how you “loved the friendship the “love” was great and it made you feel alive, but now it’s lacking zest and you need ot move on and find the next person to make you feel alive, because you are sure there are better people out there for them as well.” Really when you think about it, Voice mail messages get erased after a set amount of time, and you lose the sound of a person’s voice so maybe the last option isn’t the worst one after all, but a way of preserving a sweet memory. I still have written mementos from a great friendship and I will probably keep these forever. Even though some of the memories of the “breakup” aren’t ood, the memories prior to that are wonderful.   It’s about walking away from the past and trusting that “new is always better”
Crawling out of My Cage — 2012/10/24

Crawling out of My Cage

So I’m in this kickboxing routine now, 3x per week. As I like to say “eat, sleep, kickbox”. I went from not being able to move the bag, to nearly kicking the dumb bag over when i do a round house. Now if called upon to do so I can knock the bag over and almost set it up by myself, (it’s not my fault that the bag weighs 250 lbs and I weigh 103).
The kickboxing has given my voice back to me. It’s taken the “dangerously damaged” and left me just “dangerous”. I’m healing, because I took all the hurt and anger I felt because of my past, amd I channeled it into a medium, and am letting it out. By doing this I am able to become stronger, be a better person, and see changes.
My husband has also been a great help in “releasing” my passion for kickboxing. He’s coached me, gotten me new gear, and encouraged me when i wanted to give up cuz of hurt wrists and ankles. He helps me keep focused on the goal and not get overwhelmed. Truly the best. He tells me that I am more than able to become the fighter i want to be, even if my mom refuses to see it. But I’ll touch more on my “mommy issues” later.
Hope everyone is doing great.
Comment back with things that you are, or plan to start succeeding with this week.

My defense, My style, and Me — 2012/10/13

My defense, My style, and Me

On October 12th Logan and I just celebrated our 10th dating anniversary. This December will be our 4th wedding anniversary. I think it is absolutely awesome how fast time goes when you’re in love and having fun with the person you’re enthralled with. This dance has been nothing short of spectacular and it is such a great pleasure to share it with my best friend. He and I have such a unique way of supporting each other through our challenges, it is really cool. When I have something on my plate that I can’t handle, he will help me as best and only he can, and vice versa.

Last Friday (10/5) I was promoted at TSK to high white belt, which is pretty cool; in effect it means that my work has been seen, and that I am in fact making good progress.Last night I was called on to do a demo, which was totally unexpected. I showed the team the jump squat, an exercise where you start in the normal squat position yet you launch off your heels into the air promoting strength in your thighs and glutes if done properly. Sensei had me do this a few times and by the time we were ready to start the actual routine, Todd was teasing me about how I should understand now why others looked a little winded.   

Although I’ve been struggling with feeling icky with my headaches and some random hormonal stuff I’ve been pushing on and not letting it keep me down. I feel that it is important to work through the bad days to make the good days that much better.


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