Hell in High Heels

You only see the beauty, never the pain

trust me — 2014/12/24

trust me

You need to write down an unrealistic goal and start to live and breathe it every single day. This can be simple, or more complex. Make it crazy though! The sky is the limit, and trust me, people have been up there too.

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Sticking to your guns —

Sticking to your guns

You say you are done all the time. You’ve pulled this before. You say that im on my own and swear you wont talk to me anymore. Statistically speaking that has never proven out. Your words are hollow vague threats spread toward an innocent person who has only sought your love. Lying is something you claim to abhor and yet you are the queen of it and your husband is no better. You used to be people who followed a more of social edicts cast by a “loving god”. What happened to sticking ot your guns? This back n forth stuff is not giving anyone observing the situation a great opinion of your sanity.

I’ll survive on my own through all this. I always have gotten my shit together in the nick of time. My ingenuity is boundless and I am a stronger person for not always having a good support system. I have come through worse than this alone and I will do it again. One day you will watch me rise from the ashes and be so surprised at the majesty that came from being broken beyond repair.

I am strong without you. I can adapt to each situation with ease because of the life skills gained from your abandonment. I can understand how some kids are easier to love than others, but if you weren’t willing to give your all to me, you should just have let nature take its course.

breathe and watch my comeback — 2014/12/17

breathe and watch my comeback

who do you think you are, to determine my dreams and dictate my future. You have no power here anymore. What i did as a kid should remain back there, in the past. It’s no issue to bring shit up but stop harping on it. i’m mother fucking hell in high heels for the love of christ. i’m a walking disaster zone and it’s largely your fault. the facade i have built is fragile at best and when you accuse me of lying it furthers the rift between us.

He knows everything. Just breathe and watch my comeback.

Painful memories — 2014/12/14

Painful memories

“I’m just gonna take that as…what the hell is apesauce”

So I installed this cool little app on my phone, Time Hop. It notes the day and looks back in social media posts to see if anything noteworthy happened. The thing about this app, it shows everything, not caring if you’re in the middle of a divorce and wouldn’t want to see it. It is the pure recollection application. It allows you to look back at your life with unfettered access, one day at a time. You can see how you’ve grown over those years and how you’ve stayed exactly the goddamn same.  It shows pictures you posted and social media entries you made.

For instance, One year ago today at 11:41pm I said “I’m just gunna take that as… What the hell is ape sauce”. This would be an example of things I don’t necessarily want to remember.  At the same time, even the painful memories are there for a reason. Even the hard times breed a better outlook.

Keep trucking to make your mark on the world. Fuck the haters for they are confused admirers. If someone is not a positive influence in your life, leave them behind you. Move out and don’t be afraid of change or making waves by being you. Making waves is the surest sign of doing something right.

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