today did not go according to my plans. I always want to be “calm cool and collected” or at least appear that way. However since started this new quest, i feel like a fish out of water, and i must admit, i look like one too. I know sucking is the first step to getting better, and that everyone was where i am now, but sucking still sucks. Changing arts is a crazy thing to do and out of necessity i am learning a new way of life. I know the fish out of water feeling will get better with time, but today I honestly felt useless. It’s not for lack of trying, I want to make people proud. I simply dont feel like i will match up to expectations.