It’s approximately 9 billion times better to go through life and not make promises than it is to make promises and break them. Or at least this is how i’m convincing myself to fight through each day with confidence, acting like everything will work out in my favor. If you walk with confidence, maybe some of that confidence will slide over into your personal life and you’ll become a confident little person.
god damn it. Every time i think i have this game of life figured out another curveball gets thrown.
Rebuilding take time.
If you look at me you probably can’t see how close I am to the edge. I don’t often show the cracks in the shell of my personality. It’s super scary how insanely I just want someone to reach in and give me the benefit of a doubt and comfort me. Maybe I try to put on a tough face for too long. One thing is for sure, if I’m as close to the edge as I think, life is about to get real fancy soon. There’re only a few things keeping me back.
As I find myself sitting in a hospital bed, listening to Dexter Freebish, trying to solve complex equations in my head while my CSF drips slowly out of my tubes. this is the new reality and i might embrace it or be swallowed wholly and truly.
I tried not to write this, but you broke a peice of my heart off on Christmas Day, so this is your repayment. I hope you’re happy for breaking your best friends heart. I hope you’re happy for shattering your girl friend’s dream of having a forever with you. I hope you got what you wanted when she started crying after you left. I hope you know how broken you left her feeling, even though she has someone new in her life. You really are the worst kind of human, because you come in like a white knight while really being a devil in sheeps clothing. You talked about such big plans when she came back to you in the future, and you wonder why people lose their patience with your games. Threatening her will not work, she is a queen, she plays the whole board, not a pawn like yourself. Breathe before threatening her, for she knows her power even if you need reminded of it now and then.