Awkward Descriptions

Write a really awkward description or ad for a dating website:

 

Want to feel like the strong one in the relationship? Tired of being the illiterate one when out with friends? Give me a shout. I’ll make you look good in every way. 9/10 you are better looking than me, so that’s in the bag. Also you can probably beat me in a foot race since flesh eating disease took my feet.

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