I never acknowledged the loss that wracked my life a few weeks ago. I never owned the burning pain of suction tools or the blood loss that’s prevalent in my life. I don’t talk about it because it’s not a part of my future. I did it to make Future Sara happy, which is the primary goal right now. I need to acknowledge how distraught I feel right now. Owning the emotion, per sey. I know that this was the best move, but it’s still a part of me. Given the way life has gone, I will take the pain and repercussions that result from it. I want to be better, so that this never happens again. I want to be the Sara I know is out there somewhere. Perhaps I’ll meld my Sara from another universe into something that works here and now.
The bigger braver Sara that can handle all this stuff.